We’re often encouraged to ask for what we want in life. At work, if you don’t ask for a raise, you’re unlikely to get one. If you want your partner to help out around the house, you need to communicate that—they can’t read your mind. Psychologists even suggest that clear communication about your wants is vital for building strong relationships. So why is asking for gifts often seen as awkward or selfish? And, on the flip side, why do many people believe that someone asking for a specific gift is being greedy or entitled? Let’s open up the conversation about gifting, break down some common misconceptions, and give both gift-givers and receivers ideas on how to make the gifting experience more enjoyable and meaningful for everyone.
A Wish vs. a Demand
Any rational person knows the difference between a request and a demand. Asking for a gift is simply expressing a wish—letting your friends and family know what would make you happy. But what about having a gift list of things you want, something that keeps track of items you’d love to receive or buy for yourself? Sounds great, right? Does that sound selfish? It shouldn’t.
Gifting Isn’t Always Easy
Let’s face it—buying the perfect gift can be hard. People are picky. Think about the last time you bought a gift for your dad, brother, or niece. You probably spent hours or days looking for the perfect item, convinced they’d love it. But did their reaction live up to your expectations? Psychologists say probably not. There’s often a mismatch in gift-giver expectations and the recipient’s preferences. The idea that “it’s the thought that counts” sounds sweet, but it doesn’t always align with reality.
Plus, when a gift isn’t well-received, it stings. Socially, it can create an awkward situation between you and the recipient. Financially, you’ve spent money on something that won’t be used or appreciated. And then there’s the hassle of returns or exchanges. Not to mention the extra item that just takes up space in a closet or attic. These awkward situations can be avoided! The solution? Let your friends and family know what you actually want by creating a gift list. And if you’re a gift-giver, take the time to ask your loved ones for their true wishes.
“Get Me Anything” Is Not Helpful
When you ask someone what they want and their answer is “anything,” it’s not really helpful. As comedian Emo Phillips once joked, when he asked his aunt what she wanted for her birthday, she replied, “Something crazy and expensive, that I don’t even need.” So, he bought her chemotherapy treatments. While the joke is obviously absurd, it highlights a real challenge: when someone tells us, “Anything will do,” we often end up missing the mark completely.
A recipient who shares specific gift ideas is doing both themselves and the giver a favor. It’s not selfish—it’s thoughtful and considerate. It’s an invitation for the giver to provide something that truly resonates, making the gift-giving process enjoyable for both parties.
The Joy of Good Gifting
Think about it: When you receive a gift you actually want, you feel understood and appreciated. The giver has shown they know you and support you. But does that mean your loved ones should be expected to read your mind? Of course not! Mind reading isn’t real. So, it’s perfectly reasonable to let people know what you want.
On the flip side, when we give a gift that’s well-received, we feel a sense of accomplishment and connection. We know we’ve added something meaningful to the recipient’s life, without any of the hassles of returns, confusion, or regifting. After all, the joy of giving is about making the recipient happy, not about checking off an arbitrary “gift-giving” box.
A Solution for Better Gifting
For gift-givers to truly support their loved ones, those loved ones need to share what they enjoy, what they want to accomplish, or what they’re passionate about. Take, for example, a mom who’s hoping to learn how to surf. Does she have a wetsuit? What about a surfboard? Has she taken lessons? What if mom created a gift list with everything she needs and shared it with the family? Now, everyone knows exactly what to get her, making the gift-giving process seamless and stress-free.
What is a Universal Gift List?
A gift list is simply a curated collection of things you want from stores and brands that you love. Some people keep handwritten lists, others use spreadsheets, and some create “wish lists” on specific retailer websites. But none of these methods are sharable, and they certainly aren’t shoppable. Here’s where MyRegistry.com’s Universal Gift List comes in. Why?
Make it Universal
The MyRegistry.com Gift List is universal, meaning you can add any item from any store. It’s sharable, so all you have to do is send your loved ones a link, and they’ll instantly know what you’d love to receive. It’s simple—no need to make a big deal out of it. Just send the link with a casual message: “Hey, if you’re thinking of a gift for Mother’s Day, here are a bunch of things I’d love. [Insert Link] Love, Mom.”
Express Yourself!
Your gift list is a reflection of who you are. It’s a personal expression of your desires, hobbies, and tastes. For example, that surfer mom might want a purple wetsuit from her favorite eco-friendly brand, biodegradable surf wax, or a VOC-free surfboard. Your loved ones can find exactly what you want—and even buy it from the retailer listed on the gift list—making it easy for them to give you something you’ll truly love.
A Personalized Gift Guide
Think of your gift list as a custom gift guide made just for you. Unlike generic “Top 10 Gifts for Mom” or “Best Gifts for Soccer Lovers” lists, your gift list is uniquely yours. It includes items from stores you actually love, products that fit your style, and things that align with the activities you enjoy.
One Last Tip
For gift-givers, if you know someone who’s starting fresh, celebrating a milestone, or who’s just hard to shop for, ask them to create a gift list. Tell them a gift list will help you find the perfect present that they’ll love, use, and appreciate. Encourage them to ask for what they want—it’s not selfish, it’s practical and considerate.
